Keep Your Heart

I have the most trouble explaining to people that I like being single.

I like being able to go see whatever movie I want and sit where I want in the theater. I enjoy driving alone, singing loudly to the music that I get to pick and turn the heat or air conditioning up as I please. I love being able to wear whatever clothes and make up I want without worrying about if anyone else likes it. I like cooking for one. I love being able to go to concerts, hang out and take selfies with cute band members afterwards without anyone getting clingy or jealous. I enjoy my space and freedom and being able to do what I like with the energy and time both of those allow me.

Until a guy comes along who compensates for all of that and truly adds even more joy to my life and feels the same about me, I’m not giving up the freedom I get from being single.

The problem with all of this is that we’re taught from a very early age by people – be it society or the media or even family members – that our happiness cannot begin until we’re in a romantic relationship that’s headed for marriage. So when I tell people that I’m happy being single, a lot of them either think I’m crazy or don’t believe me.

Listening to someone talk about a breakup they’re going through always seems to validate my singleness. If I’m not terribly close to the person or the situation, I sometimes internally smirk and pat myself on the back for not putting myself in a position to maybe end up a ball of emotion or a bitter wreck. I’ve done well to guard myself and my heart.

And to demonstrate just how much emphasis our society places on romance, we take spiritual advice and turn it into romantic advice.

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23, NRSV)

Pretty, isn’t it? Not terrible dating advice either. Guard your heart because it’s valuable and important and bad people will corrupt it in some form. Wise. Practical.

And not at all what the author’s getting at.

Let’s read around it. “My child, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh. Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you. Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Keep straight the path of your feet, and all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.” (Proverbs 4:20-27, NRSV).

The author, presumably Solomon, is telling his kid to listen to him and remember his words because they are helpful, healing words. He says to keep them in the heart and then to guard the heart because it gives life.

Then Solomon says to get rid of “crooked speech” and “devious talk,” and this is incredible spiritual advice. I’m not going to get into what qualifies as bad language or lecture you on what words you should or shouldn’t say, and I don’t fully believe that’s what Solomon means here either. I believe that Solomon is referencing the power of our words and what our words say of us as people. It’s less about the actual words we speak and more about how we mean them. Do I mean to insult someone? Am I speaking kindness into someone’s life? Am I talking about someone, and if so, am I being hurtful?

I believe Solomon is addressing two problems with communication here that affect us spiritually. One is gossip and lies. Gossip and lies profit no one. Spreading things, churning speculation and rumor so much that people believe them as fact just hurt people. It makes them feel judged and devalued, and anyone who generates that isn’t being very loving and peaceful. Two is using language with intent to hurt people. Do we insult people or put them down all the time? Do we say things that drain their self-confidence or dull their self-view? Are we giving them life to give to others or taking what they have of it? Doing such things doesn’t point back to the God of love.

Solomon tells us to keep our eyes looking forward and to keep on the path. But what do the two have to do with each other?

In basketball, it’s easy to fall victim to a trick play. A lot of times defenders look silly because someone will give a no-look pass and that team will score. If you watch, this is because the offensive player is looking one way and is passing another. Usually the body goes where the eyes go. If a player is looking at a teammate, it’s a safe bet he or she will pass to said teammate. If the player looks at the basket, the player will likely shoot. So the defensive player prepares for the ordinary, the way the eyes are looking, and is tricked when the body doesn’t go where the eyes go.

The same applies to our spiritual lives. If our eyes linger on sin, our hearts will take interest in it and we will turn to it. By looking forward on our straight path, we see only the beauty and promise of our straight path. Not looking around us and focusing on where all the sin and masquerading pain exist. Not looking behind us and focusing on our dark and rocky past where we see imperfections or maybe even fun times. Looking forward to hope and countless blessings and focusing on God.

Our focus is what it all comes down to. Are we focused on God, on serving Him, on loving others like He does, on keeping our hearts and lives on the path He has us on? Or are we letting corruption enter our hearts and exit our mouths through a turnstile while looking for something we think will be better but will leave us empty?

Look at your heart. Where is its guard? Where are your eyes looking, and where are your feet turned to? I encourage you to remove anything that’s causing your heart to harden or turn from God. It’s hard, but it’s rewarding. And fill those empty spaces by letting God in. It’ll make your heart feel so full that you won’t hesitate to guard it anymore.

By Carrie Prevette

P.S. – I wrote another blog post that heavily involved Proverbs 4:23 earlier this year. At the risk of sounding super conceited, I’ve got to say that I really like that post. It’s probably one of my favorites that I’ve ever written, and I think it’s a more in depth post about the function of the verse in our lives than this post. You can read it here if you’re interested.

Call in the Guards

Sunday’s great speaker, Dave, is not the first person to be surprised that I know who “Pistol” Pete Maravich was. I’m also fairly certain that he won’t be the last. I do want to say, to Dave’s credit, that he was surprised I know who Pistol Pete was because I’m young, which is completely understandable. What isn’t understandable is when people, unlike Dave, are surprised when I know such tidbits of information about sports because I’m a woman.

Believe me, it happens.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had something about a game or player mansplained to me like I’m clueless. Then there are conversations that turn to debates and even arguments because a guy won’t hear me out due to the fact that I’m a woman and surely don’t know as much as him about something stereotypically masculine. And if I had a dollar for every time it’s been implied or stated that I only like a player because he’s attractive, I could probably afford lower level tickets to watch the Hornets play instead of my familiar nosebleed seats.

For fear that people will read this and misunderstand me, I want to clarify: most men that I talk sports with, including all the ones I talk sports with on a regular basis, don’t treat me this way. Most men will discuss sports with me like I’m a person who shares a common interest. (Imagine that!) But I’ve had enough men speak down to me when speaking about such things that when yet another one does, it’s met with the all-but-patented Carrie Prevette anger and eye roll.

Yes, I know all about the heart trouble Dave spoke of on Sunday, and my heart’s biggest trouble is anger.

This may surprise people because I don’t come off as a particularly angry person, or at least I don’t think I do. With my friendly disposition and humor, I think I usually strike people somewhere along the lines of “happy” or “sassy.” I don’t say anger is my problem because I’m inherently mad or displeased or anything of the sort. I say it’s my problem because it gets me in trouble and leads to bitterness really easily.

I don’t always handle my anger well. I take things to the extreme at times. I yell. I act in a way that will make me sad or maybe even miserable later just to make someone else feel bad in that moment, which is exactly as stupid and childish as it sounds.

I’ll give you an example. As I write this, my car is at a garage getting fixed by a mechanic, and I haven’t had it for two days now. (The guy fixing my car already had a busy schedule when I dropped it off.) My mom didn’t think it would take as long as it has to get my car back, so she made other plans during my lunch hour today, meaning she couldn’t come pick me up. I was mad because I like leaving for lunch every day. It gets me out of a building I already have to spend eight hours in. My mom offered to move things around so she could get me, and I honestly don’t think she would’ve minded doing so. But because I was mad, I wanted her to feel bad like I did, so I insisted in a voice that didn’t exactly hide my feelings that it was okay (because it technically was) and that I’d just bring my own lunch to work.

Yes. I ate lunch today in the last place I wanted to because I was too petty to let my mom make amends for something that wasn’t even that big of a deal in the first place. Do you see where anger gets me?

Anger also leads to bitterness. If I let my anger sit instead of letting it go or letting it out, that’s what it turns to. My bitterness comes with snarky comments and few to no apologies. I become self-centered and mean and hurtful all because I wanted to spend more time with my anger. As I said, it’s my heart’s biggest issue.

Maybe your heart trouble is different. You could be a slave to lust or old pals with conceit. You might have history with being judgmental or feeling righteous. Whatever your heart trouble is, know that we all suffer from it in one way or another.

Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) reads, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

Matthew 15:19 (NLT) reads, “For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.”

If you read each of those verses individually, they seem very different. The first makes the heart sound precious, and the second makes it sound vile. But if you read and apply them together, like a set, you find something deeper.

Since the Bible’s most infamous couple ate the forbidden fruit, effectively leaving paradise to enter sin, all human hearts are susceptible to sin and destruction. We still choose what to do just as they chose, but their actions reconditioned the human heart and changed the human experience. But as difficult as it may be, the choices are still ours to make.

The point of guarding something is to protect it from both inside and outside forces. Think of a medieval setting. The king’s guards stand at the door to make sure no one can get in and harm the king, but they also escort out anyone who is already inside and who is being harmful. Or think of the guard position in basketball. They’re the first line of defense when the opposing team has the ball. On offense, they’re supposed to be good at ball handling and passing and have a high level of awareness to be able to make plays. They have to orchestrate as much as they can to be sure that the ball gets to the basket without being swatted away or stolen along the way.

We’re naturally protective of our hearts against outside sources. We don’t want it to get broken or stolen. But we’re much less critical of what’s already in our hearts, what naturally grows there. We write those dangers off. We use them to define ourselves (“It’s what gives me my rebellious spirit!”) or our views of the world and people around us (“Yeah, I get that from my mom.”).

So if we take the truth we find in Matthew and pair it with the advice we get in Proverbs, we’re left with a difficult task. It’s easier to stop things from entering our hearts than it is to rip away what’s already there. It leads to change, and even if we’re comfortable with that, do we have what it takes to reach that end?

Probably not on our own.

But aren’t you glad we don’t have to face life and its challenges on our own?

As with all things, God’s eager to help. He can move and remove. He can strengthen and assure. He can provide accountability. He can be what we need to get through our change. All we have to do is ask Him and rely on Him.

By Carrie Prevette

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑